LONG post....

The birth
I finally have the time to post. I didn't want to wait too long. There are already some things I am forgetting. On Friday (Jan. 14th) at about 11am I went into labor. I had just taken a bath and got ready to go with Shad's mom to get a pedicure, a facial, lunch and frankly time away. Brinley and I were in the living room watching tv and I had a contraction that floored me...literally. As soon as it was over I yelled for Shad's mom to call Shad to take me to the hospital. He had gone to work for a few hours. He said that he ran every red light, drove up on three curbs and side walks, passed two people on the right, flipped six people the bird to make it home in a record time of 7 minutes. We headed to the hospital with Shad driving like it was life or death (to his credit it was life!!). When we first arrived I was dilated to 5cm and effaced 90%. They monitored me for an hour and I hadn't changed. They knew once I changed to a 7 I would go fast so they didn't want me to leave the hospital. After a few tricks ( I promise you do not want me to go into detail). By the way, my nurse was amazing! I went all natural so I didn't have an iv or hep block ( ?) or any other interventions. Shad was an AMAZING coach...he was there massaging my back and doing counter pressure the entire time not to mention counting each contraction. The little guy was facing my back so it caused my contractions to be excruciating. The only thing that helped was Shad pushing as hard as he could into my back, I have bruises to prove it! The last few minutes before I started pushing I admit I screamed that I was done and couldn't do it anymore. They put me in a different position to push and I could handle pushing him out. I still can't believe I did it. I couldn't have done it without Shad! It such an indescribable feeling to know we did it together. After they laid my little guy on my chest he wouldn't cry and started to struggle to breathe. Shad and the nurse rushed him out of the room. Shad came back to tell me Breckin was in the nicu and we would be updated. On my way down to my recovery room we went into the special care unit where they told us that he wasn't breathing well on his own and needed to be kept. I started to cry it was so hard to see them put an iv, c pap machine, a belly tube to extract any air in his belly, radiant heat, antibiotics, respritory, heart rate and oxygen monitors. We wouldn't be able to hold him until they gave the okay and we wouldn't know when that would be. The rest of the day we spent with Brin and going back and forth down the hall to see our son. Dave and Shad gave Breckin a blessing as soon as let would let them. We know it helped because That night they took him off of the c pap machine and authorized me to be able to hold him once. It was such a special moment to hold me son after such a long day. I felt bad that Shad had to go home without getting to hold him. Brinley had a really rough night. She had a hard time understanding and coping with the changes. She kept Shad up all night. Grandma Jepsen has been so amazing with Brinley and taking care of her and us while Shad and I have been through so much the last few weeks. Words can't express our gratitude for her sacrifice and service!







Day 2

Breckin started to make some progress. They started to wean him off the glucose they were giving him and had me start to feed him. I was so excited to be able to hold him and feed him. It was hard to see him with an iv in his head that morning along with everything they had on him the day before. After his first feed in the morning he had a little bit of a set back because it wore him out to eat for the first time, but after a few hours he came back even stronger. Throughout the day they turned down his oxygen, he had improvements with holding his body temp and eating. Brinley did a lot better. When she walked into my hospital room she said, "mom, you sleep here"? I told her yes and had her by me on my bed for most of the time she was there. It helped her to know where mommy was. Shad was able to hold his son for the first time since his birth. It was really incredible to see Shad with his son. Words can't describe what that moment was like. Breckin was still struggling enough for us to know he wasn't going home when I would be. That night I didn't get much sleep. They call me in for all of his feeds. It was great to be able to hold him so much. I could tell he needed me to and knows who I am! I love him soooo much!



Day 3

I woke up broken hearted. After his morning feed I was very emotional. Shad and I spent the day together with our son. Holding and loving on him. He made major improvements. They moved him from a radiant heat bed to a regular nursery bed and removed his tummy tube. We left the hospital feeling good about his progress, but I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I can't explain how hard it was to leave my baby even knowing he was getting the best possible care. I had no desire to talk to anyone. When I walked through the door coming home I just broke down. Brinley came and cuddled with me which was just what I needed. After taking a nap Shad and I went back to the hospital to find our son in the radiant heat bed under the lights because his jaundice spiked. He had what the nurses called his "ski mask" to cover his eyes from the uv lights. After such an emotional day already that really topped it off.

Day 4

Our pediatrician had been out of town over the weekend, but was at the hospital that morning before I had even shown up to evaluate Breckin. He said that they wanted to keep him for a day or two more because his urine output wasn't great and he hadn't yet been off oxygen. They also needed to check in jaundice to keep it under control. The nurse had me increase the feeds so we started supplementing him after I feed him to get him to pee and poop more. They took him off oxygen and he did great. They put two uv lights on him. Everything throughout the day pointed to him coming home the next day. Shad and I even took over the car seat for his test for him to come home.

Day 5

The day started off with great news that he was given orders to be released. However, after I came home from feeding him to get Shad so we could go get our son the nurse called and said that Breckin's respiratory rate was spiking again way to high for him to be able to come home. I broke down, more because we didn't know what was wrong with him and why he couldn't breathe normally. I felt helpless. Shad and I went over to the hospital so they could see what he did during me feeding him. They found that it spiked the highest during his feeds so the pediatrician ordered to have him be fed through a feeding tube so they could do more tests and give his lungs a break from fluid. That night I took Shad's mom with me so she could hold him for the first time. By the way, they don't let child in to see the babies so Brin has yet to see and hold her brother. They had already done the car seat test and he passed, the last thing was to try feeding him a bottle and if his respiration didn't spike they were prepared to let us take him home last night. Well, it spiked quite a few times and the worst spike he had was right at the end of his feeding. They decided to keep him strictly on the feeding tube to see if his lungs will heal themselves not having fluid on them. If this doesn't resolve the problem they are going to do another round of labs to see if he needs another round of antibiotics. We will see what tomorrow brings....

Day 6

I went over to the hospital early for his first feed. He did great! He ate more than he had yet, yay! Our pediatrician's assistant came over to evaluate him. I let her know that his rate would spike usually after feeds and when they laid him on his back and propped up his feet. They watched him for a couple more feedings and have wanted to see if it is acid reflux. We won't know more until tomorrow. He did get his pictures taken by the hospital....what a little stud! We just keep hoping and praying for an answer so he can come home! Brinley was a big time momma's girl so Shad took his brother and mom to the hospital to see Breckin while Brinley and I went to bed. Shad said he actually ate a bottle and a half...even more than that morning. It has been challenging trying to meet both of children's needs right now! We couldn't do it without his mom's help! It is a blessing to be able to go to the hospital so much during the day and not have to worry that Brinley isn't being taken care of!



Day 7

I slept in and missed his feed. I called them and told them to just give him a bottle. The nurse told me not to stress or worry and she would call me for the next feeding. I was in the shower when Shad received a call from dr. Later letting us know we could take our son home. It was a good emotional day! Shad and I both were very emotional. Brinley and Grandma rode over to the hospital with us to pick him up. As soon as we put him in the car Brinley got so excited. She put her arms in the rocking position and said hold the baby, hold the baby, touch it, touch it? It was so cute! She had a perm grin the entire ride home. As soon as we got home we let her hold him for the very first time!


Brinley and Pics before Breckin's delivery-Grandma, Shad and Brinley had a lot of fun to keep busy here are some highlights. Brinley got a swing in her room, yes a swing. They also built a snowman. Here are a few pictures of my belly a day or two before I went into labor:








We are all doing well. It has been a crazy week..As per my wonderful, amazing, overly sensitive, carasmatic, sliced up, diced up, chopped liver, bald perfect yet still mortal husband--he is 100% finished with having or helping create children. I guess even Shad calls it quits once in a while.